The Isolation Paradox: How Technology Both Connects and Disconnects the Neurodiverse
It's no wonder then that the neurodiverse have flocked to the internet in search of connection and community.
For many neurodiverse individuals, the world can feel like a lonely place. Despite increasing awareness and acceptance of neurodiversity in recent years, so much of modern society - from the workplace to the dating scene - still caters to neurotypical brains and behaviors. Autistic masking is exhausting. ADHD quirks are misunderstood. Sensory needs go unmet.
It's no wonder then that the neurodiverse have flocked to the internet in search of connection and community. Online, we can find our tribes - the people who intuitively "get" us, without needing an instruction manual for our brains. Social media, forums, chat groups, and multiplayer games provide an invaluable lifeline, especially for those struggling to forge bonds IRL.
A 2020 study found that nearly 80% of autistic adults regularly used social media, with many reporting it helped them feel less alone.[1] For ADHDers too, online communities offer camaraderie, tips and hacks for navigating a neurotypical world.[2] Virtual realms can be a safe haven.
But is there a dark side to finding all our human connection through a screen? As remote work, Zoom happy hours, and DM-slide dating have gone mainstream, more people than ever are living much of life online. For the neurodiverse, this can enable further retreat from in-person interaction.
After all, the internet is a double-edged sword - both the cause of and solution to modern isolation. On one hand, it grants access to accepting communities. On the other, it can become a crutch, an excuse to avoid the messy, face-to-face socializing that ultimately makes us grow.
The implications are concerning. In his book "Lost Connections," Johann Hari argues we're seeing skyrocketing rates of depression and anxiety in part because "we have become disconnected from the things we really need."[3] Among young people especially, heavy social media use correlates with increased loneliness.[4]
For the neurodiverse, real-world isolation comes at a greater cost. We miss out on opportunities to practice social skills, expand our comfort zones, and experience the nonverbal nuances of communication. Authentic self-acceptance stagnates if we're never truly seen and embraced, warts and all.
This doesn't mean we should abandon our online communities - far from it. They offer vital support, relatability and room to unmask. But perhaps we need to consciously balance screen time with meatspace, to develop resilience alongside resonance.
As we imagine a future that works for the neurodiverse brain, this is something to consider. How do we leverage technology to foster inclusion and accessibility, without losing the humanizing power of shared physical space? Can we redesign workplaces, campuses, even nightclubs to be more neurodiverse-friendly?
I believe the answer lies in meeting in the middle - thoughtfully blending virtual and actual reality. Co-working spaces with sensory rooms. College programs with built-in online support groups. Social events with quiet zones. If we build it - online and off - the neurodiverse will thrive.
The key is to offer choice without enabling avoidance. To create on and offline spaces versatile enough to adapt to different neurotypes. A world that invites the neurodiverse to connect virtually and veritably, honoring our need for both cave and community.
Technology may be shifting the social landscape, but one fundamental truth endures - humans need other humans. We're wired for interdependence, neurotypical and neurodiverse alike. The interplay between the two realms will write the next chapter in our social evolution.
References:
Sathiender, et al. "Social Media Use and Experiences of Adults with Autism." Journal of Autism & Developmental Disorders, 2021.
Ryan, et al. "How Adults with ADHD Find Support Through Online Communities." ADHD Awareness Month Coalition, 2022.
Hari, Johann. Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Hope. Bloomsbury, 2018.
Primack, et al. "Social Media Use and Perceived Social Isolation Among Young Adults in the U.S." American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 2017.